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Natasha

About the author:

 

Natasha is a 25 year old interdisciplinary student with a background in care and support work. She admits that she can be a little bit intense, using writing as a form of expression for her passions and deep feelings about the world and its many injustices. She has also found it a therapeutic way of exploring her own history of trauma and its lasting effects, and importantly, to fight back against stigma and misrecognition

You can read a selection of her poems in the slideshow below:

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I am
 
Sighs release,  
and I wish I had the energy to smile,
but I am tired
 
tears fall,
and I wish I had a story to tell,
but I do not
 
Yes, I am tired  
and no,
I have no justification
 
no sense t
o make
no hard truths for you to swallow
no ‘story’ to garner your sympathies
 
[reserved]
as they are,
for those who have the power  
to make themselves
he
ard
 
if I did, you might permit me to feel
the way tha
t I do

but I do not

and  
[you] do not
 
So, there is just
me
[and my feelings]

and what have feelings ever been good for anyway?
 
‘What does it feel like to make sense?’
I do not know
 
Sighs release,
and I wish I had the labels that you liked,
but I do not
 
Tears fall,
and I wish I had the solidity you required,
but I am me
 
Yes, I am I
and no,  
I do not know what that means

 
No,
I do not know what that means.

 

 

The colours of the dress I’ll wear  
Will be a little bit of everything
My camouflage for the rapidly changing waters  
In which I’m surrounded, under which I am burying
 

And for this, still, you’ll call me out
As lacking, too, in authenticity  
Yet when I struggle to claim boundaries  
You’ll scold my temper and call it rigidity  
 
I will not fit into your order,
So, disorder, you will claim
So, I’ll shape and shift myself  
Just to survive, without a name  
 
A thing I’ll often claim with pride
Will be my lack of box or boundary
But I’ll struggle to contain myself
And heart-stained sleeves are not so easy to wear proudly  

In my defence, I’ll claimThat derogated frame, of vulnerability

 

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