Impulsive Wings

The flip of a switch and I’m in.

Falling. Falling faster than lightning.

My wings unfurl and I suddenly fly free.

IRS too fast, too abrupt, too far up.

Skywards and on towards the clouds.

Never coming down.

The flip of a switch and I’m in.

The impulse is quick, it hits.

It’s never quiet, never leaves me alone.

My wings are cut and clipped, it’s quick.

Click. Click. Click. Clock. Click.

And I fall. I fall so fast my feathers aren’t caught.

My wings fail and end in smoke. Feathers falling faster, harder, quieter, sharper.

Piercing my heart even after happy never after.

U try to defeated my broken wings.

The fringes of my feathers fall.

Am I even human?

Am I a creature?

Am I anything in this world at all?

The flip of a switch and I’m in.

The same confusing, exhausting, mind bending head spin.

I can’t explain how this feels.

Nothing is real that I thought could be.

My moments are confused - are theyone, my winged creature’s or someone eke’s existence?

How do I survive such distance?

Dissociation wraps around me and my wings.

No one is listening.

I scream into the dark until the dawn.

Am I alive? Am I a burden? Am I a human being at all?

The flip of a switch and I’m in.

My wings have flown away for now.

Somewhere. Some place. Somehow.

The spiral stops dead in its tracks.

But I know it will always come back.

With a flip of my switch the screen will fade to heartbreaking, flight-stealing black. Forever, never. Happy Never After.

Can’t breathe, can’t sleep, can’t feel, can’t be.

Now I am left with my winged creature and me.

Me. Impulses.

Hesitant. Then sure but always quick.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

Impulsive wings.

My creature.

My and their impulsive wings.