Payge Terner
About the author: Payge is a catering industry worker with a BA in Psychology and certificates in Data Analysis, Java Programming, and Sustainability. She recently solidified a BPD diagnosis after many years of psychiatric care and has moved away from addictive behaviours after a recent extended hospitalisation. She finds a natural outlet in writing, helpful in focusing on chaotic thoughts and extreme emotions. She is grateful for her lovely wife and stepdaughter, amazing friends, supportive parents, and talented psychiatrist. She is excited about discovering how beautiful life is when you wake up and focus on
the positive!
Content Warnings: swearing, references to self-harm/suicide.
You can read a selection of her poems in the slideshow below:
Payge is a catering industry worker with a BA in Psychology and certificates in Data Analysis, Java Programming, and Sustainability. She recently solidified a BPD diagnosis after many years of psychiatric care, and came out of the veil of smoking marijuana all day since a recent extended hospitalization. She finds a natural outlet in writing, helpful in focusing chaotic thoughts and extreme emotions. She is grateful for her lovely wife and stepdaughter, amazing friends, supportive parents, and talented psychiatrist. She is excited about discovering how beautiful life is when you wake up and focus on the positive!
How to orchestrate existence
Reconciling personalities into one may not be possible
More useful may be to ask them to get along
The sober, rational one can be the group leader
They can look upon the one hiding in a closet with a knife
Snarling at shadows passing by
And give advice helpful to loved ones over the years
The nervous one cleaning the house at lightning speed
The relaxed one joking with colleagues
They can occupy the body
The desperate one trying to maintain breathing can
write write write
Work to avoid stupid plans
This does not have to be confusion
It can be a symphony
It is not so singular either
We are ALL many things
Some people just have much more distinction
It is not to panic that the driver cannot distinguish the road
How many accidents have been survived?
Nobody can avoid them
Look around team and realize you are not alone
Your body will be put back together
All progress is tinged with pain
Listen to the leader
FOCUS
Maintain focus with the maps you are given
Trusted people provided them
Ignore the swirling experience of consciousness
BALANCE
Do the exercises
Master the body
Put yourself to sleep if blackout is approaching like a tsunami
Time out from reality doesn’t have to be forever
A friend gave me the mantra:
“Keep it between the beacons”
Watch the deep end when there’s no lifeguard
Realize those around you are experiencing you too
Don’t leave them behind
Because that’s not how to avoid hurting them
If you have to hide, HIDE
Just climb back out of that hole someday
Rally the team